Tribute Token

I remember standing there to receive my tribute token; I was outside of a huge dull gray building. I had thought that I would receive a necklace or something like that, because I had asked for my father to present the token to me. I had chosen my father to give this to me because he had taught me everything I know, from how to farm that boring brown field that seemed to go off the side of the world to teacher me how to have a catch outside of our house, which seemed more like a shack. Even though we didn’t have a lot he works out there every day in that field that smells like three week old trash. If I didn’t have him I wouldn’t know what I would do or where I would be, for this I will dedicated my effort in this year’s hunger games to his hard work and dedication.

I saw him walk around a large tree which seemed to be an oak; he walked as if he didn’t want to be here. I could understand his fear; he would be seeing his son for probably the last time in person before I meet my fate in the hunger games. He opened his sweaty palm and I saw the glimmering token. It was a small tractor I had had since I was a young boy; it will remind me off my agricultural town in District 11. The tractor had chipped yellow and green paint with a half broken wheel from when I dropped it once. My father had saved up a week’s worth of pay to buy me this and this is one of the best things he ever gave me. When the handoff of the token happened my father and I looked at each other and cried, all I thought was that this might be the last time we are together.

2 thoughts on “Tribute Token

  1. There were a few mistakes here and there, and one example is that in the sentence “…to teacher me how to have a catch outside of our house…” it should have been teaching, not teacher. I liked how you described your token, the tractor, in specific details. You may want to try to change up your attention getter to get the reader’s attention from the start. You can do this by adding some emotion of how you felt at that moment or something similar to that instead of just “I remember standing there to receive my tribute token; I was outside of a huge dull gray building.”. I did like your work but you may need to just add a few tweaks here and there to make it even better!

  2. “I had chosen my father to give this to me because he had taught me everything I know, from how to farm that boring brown field that seemed to go off the side of the world to teacher me how to have a catch outside of our house, which seemed more like a shack.” This sentence seems like a run-on and I think you meant “teaching” instead of “teacher. Also, I wish you would have went into more detail describing what the tractor looked like.

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