The Mayhem Continues!

The day after the game makers had sounded their first attack with a tsunami, I was sitting there watching the games again. Again I heard the broadcasters announced the horrific words that there will be another “surprise” from the game makers. When I heard this fear engulfed my body as to what would happen this time. Since the boy from district 10 that I was rooting for was plowed over and innocently killed by the game maker’s tsunami, I decided to root for the remaining tribute from my district. She was short and had wavy hair that was the color of the fresh plowed dirt on our family’s farm. As her make a spear out of a sharpened stick I heard the announcer with fear in his voice yell “here comes the surprise.”

I suddenly jumped out of my seat to see what the crazy game makers had unleashed today. At first the giant swarm seemed to look like a rainbow with vivid colors, but then I realized they were poisonous dart frogs. I had heard stories of how they could kill ten men in a matter of seconds with their venom. Once again like yesterday I saw the kill four innocent young children without a sound. By the time the frogs had swarmed on the four they had no time to speak and the frogs were killing them silently. Then I had realized that the girl I was rooting for had been attacked and killed, I felt guilt and sorrow, almost as if I had killed her. It seemed as if every person I rooted for died, I swiftly gathered the remote and turned off the television in disgust.

4 thoughts on “The Mayhem Continues!

  1. Good job! This sentence did not make sense to me. It should be as she made…”As her make a spear out of a sharpened stick I heard the announcer with fear in his voice yell “here comes the surprise.””… Also there were parts where you repeated words like in the opener when you used again to end a sentence and again to start the next sentence. but I liked how you represented your emotions in your writing.

  2. I really liked your post. I liked the way you described the frogs as a rainbow when you first saw them. I really liked how you showed your emotions through your writing. I thought you did a great job.

  3. Beautiful job Joe. Your details were very nicely placed. Your attention getter however, seemed to lack in grabbing my attention. Also, next time try to use more sensory details in your writing. Additionally, the is sentence didn’t make any sense to me,” As her make a spear out of a sharpened stick I heard the announcer with fear in his voice yell “here comes the surprise.” Your doing great just try to proofread a little better. Work it BIllay!!

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